A Glimpse Inside

an experiment in expression, slight vanity and extreme boredom...
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:: What's New in the World ::

"I hate you."
-Event Staff

In The Off Hours
Books :: None currently...
TV :: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, The 4400, Entourage
Anime :: Naruto, Bleach, Gundam SEED Destiny, Sousei no Aquarion
Music :: DHT - Listen to Your Heart

happiness is...
• Annoying Event Staff
• No More Work
• Night Pictures
• Winning at Poker
unhappiness is...
• No income
• Expensive gear
• Integrating flash and DBs
• Driving long distances

:: Thursday, November 27, 2003 ::
Happy Turkey Day...
A few people are sending out text messages to everyone on their lists saying Happy Thanksgiving, but after only getting about 5 hours of sleep, I realized I'm much to lazy to do anything like that. Thankfully I have access to this great medium called the web where I'm able to reach everyone who reads my site in one foul swoop. And in keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving, here's a little list of things I'm thankful for, though of course not limited to just these things.

1. Family (obvious)
2. Friends (duh!)
3. Cheesecake (naturally)
4. My Computer (you knew it had to be in there)
5. NBA Season (what else would I watch on TV?)
6. Charmin Toilet Paper (sometimes it's the little things)
7. 2 Weeks of Paid Vacation (though 4 would be better, beggers can't be choosers)
8. Living in San Diego (cause let's face it, its a great town)
9. Alcohol (it makes people more attractive and parties more fun, kiddin! tho not really)
10. Vietnamese Food (because it's just damn good)

And on that note, my family and I are gonna go get some pho. That's right, I said pho! Sometimes we're so Vietnamese it's scary haha. Anyway, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

:: posted by Z [12:49 PM] ::

:: Monday, November 24, 2003 ::
Birthdays, Baking and Blackouts…
Even though today is officially Thuy’s birthday, she had her bash on Saturday and the crew came out in force to help her celebrate her 22nd year of romping around on this planet. Steamin’, Event and Bruce even flew down from the bay. Despite a few snags like the extreme cold the party was fun and it was nice to be able to see everyone, some who I hadn’t seen since my own birthday party over 2 months ago. For the special occasion, I went all out and baked Thuy a marbled pumpkin cheesecake topped with whipped cream and milk chocolate flakes (picture to the right). Unfortunately I can’t remember if I tried it or what it tasted like if I did because I blacked out around 2am when I started taking shots of Petron. So after going over 2 months without a blackout, I did it again. *sigh* Oh well…

:: posted by Z [2:31 PM] ::

:: Friday, November 21, 2003 ::
Insomnia, Insanity and Insight…
So I had insomnia last night. It had been some time since my arch-nemesis reared his ugly head; about 6 months give or take. I think it was partially due to the frustration I suffered through all day at work yesterday. I’ve been working on a problem, the details of which I’ll spare you all cause I know no one cares, and honestly the difficulty of the task is starting to gnaw at me like termites boring relentlessly through the hollow of a tree; nasty little buggers. There were times I just wanted to let all the control go and scream at the top of my lungs but it’s probably against company policy. I’m pretty sure I saw it in the corporate handbook somewhere. If it had been my day to drive yesterday in my carpool I would have gone a fieldtrip to somewhere, anywhere to relax and escape. But it wasn’t my day, and so I was stuck, caged in a 10 x 10 box with 6 feet tall walls, breathing recycled and reconditioned air and bathed in sickly fluorescent lights. I recalled longingly of my days in Israel, where I spent the days lazily with my laptop by my hotel window overlooking the Med, real sunlight and gentle salt-scented breezes washing over me. Somewhere there’s a guy making 50 cents an hour picking up towels after hotel guests in the tropics. He wakes up on an island, spends his entire day barefoot on the beach and each night watches the Sun set over a calm ocean and palm trees. I wonder sometimes which one of us is the lucky one.

:: posted by Z [10:33 AM] ::

:: Thursday, November 20, 2003 ::
Poetic Burp...
Dang after 5+ months of writer's block I'm on a little bit of a roll here. Lately a lot of people around me having been going through relationship problems, aka DRAMA, so what's new right? I guess there are still some distinct advantages to being single. This latest poem is a reflection of sorts of all the emotions I've been exposed to as of late.

- Stained - [11.19.03]
love is a lifetime littered with pain
in the aftermath only sweet bitterness remains
white satin with a wine colored stain

aching memories that can't simply be wiped away
years drift by before the scars start to fade
leaving only a vague rememberence of regret
at the end of the day

and a battered soul with a broken heart
constricted with each tragedy that tore it apart
slowly the light within it dims and grows dark

haunted by phantoms of feelings for what might have once been
distrustful of each beginning for the fear of its end
and closed to the possibility to ever hold love again

:: posted by Z [9:48 AM] ::

:: Tuesday, November 18, 2003 ::
A Few New Moves…
After my regular Jeet Kune Do class yesterday, one of the students convinced me to stay for both the following kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes. So after 3½ hours of getting the crap beat out of me, I’ve learned a lot of cool new moves and I have the bruises to prove it. I think I feel pain in every part of my body hehe. Oh well. I’ll probably start going to all 3 classes on Monday from now on, though there’s only one and half more weeks of classes left before the school shuts down for a month in December. I’ll have to figure out a way to train during that one month lull in classes. I guess I’ll see if I can find a training partner to practice with during that time. After the class, I came home and did the most counterproductive thing I could have done; I ate a big heaping bowl of ice cream. Haha. Oh well.

:: posted by Z [9:24 AM] ::

:: Thursday, November 13, 2003 ::
Poetic Burp...
A bit more serious and darker than most of my other prose but oh well.

- Untitled - [11.13.03]
steel, white hot with fury
sizzles through the air
and rends the righteous flesh to ruin
screams silenced in the roar of heavy guns
expending smoking shells and raining death
the world deafened to the pleas of the dying
and blinded by veils of lies and premeditated facades
endless fields littered with broken men
growing cold in congealing crimson pools
a nightmare devoid of dreams and hope
except the ambition of decrepit men
that count their gold atop towers from afar
it is their insanity born to fruition
but shouldered by the common man
the true masters hold all the keys
but open doors only to hell

:: posted by Z [3:00 PM] ::

:: Monday, November 10, 2003 ::
Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting…
I had my second class at the Harris International Academy today. For those who weren’t aware I’ve been shopping around for a few weeks now for a good martial arts school and last Tuesday I finally committed to one, at least for the upcoming month anyway. The school teaches Jeet Kune Do, Muay Thai kickboxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Kali and wrestling. Thus far I’m only taking the JKD classes because my complete lack of all things martial lead me to believe I lack the coordination for the other arts, for now anyway. During the first class I got beat up, banged up and bruised up literally. I was hit in head so hard one of my contacts popped out. Afterwards I had a huge bruise on my left knee I couldn’t recall how I got and my arms felt like lead weights. All in all it was a unique experience and left me feeling sore in places I didn’t even know could be sore. The second class which I had tonight was a bit easier. We spent the majority of the time focused on kicks and defense of kicks with very little sparring unlike the first class. Even though I’ve only had two classes, I’ve felt I’ve learned a lot already. I think this will be a nice addition to my new active endeavors.

:: posted by Z [10:05 PM] ::

A Short Report...
Well the weekend passed by rather casually, but I did manage to see a ton of people I hadn’t seen since my self imposed exile from clubbing and most things alcoholic began almost two months ago. Sandy was down from the bay and I spent Friday afternoon with her and Shirley. We journeyed to Balboa Park and visited the Torture and Intolerance exhibit. It was disturbing to say the least. The ingenuity of human beings to inflict pain and torment on one another is simply shocking. It’s hard to imagine such cruelties were once commonplace and accepted. Afterwards we chilled around the pond taking pictures of fish and ducks swimming among the lily pads to balance out all the negative energy we had just be exposed too.

On Saturday, it was back to Polo, Chester and Jorge’s for a little BBQ, though there was nothing little about the amount of food present. We had chicken, kabobs, deviled eggs, carne asada tacos, grilled egg plants, sushi, potato salad and of course a generous amount of alcohol. Good company and good times. Thanks for everyone who bought food and all the cooks who took turns manning the grill. Afterwards I showed incredible restraint and opted not to go to Deco’s with everyone, thus maintaining my ban on clubbing. Yay for me!

:: posted by Z [9:50 PM] ::

:: Friday, November 07, 2003 ::
AGlimpseInside Alcoholics Not-So-Anonymous...
Kris2fur: im sooooo tired
Kris2fur: i went to the bar and got drunk. then i went to the strip club
Kris2fur: im working 1 hour of sleep

"Hey kids, this is Christopher. Everyone say hi to Chris."
"Chris is an al-co-hol-ic. Can you say alcoholic?"
"Very good!"

:: posted by Z [9:26 AM] ::

:: Wednesday, November 05, 2003 ::
The Gift of Sight…
I had my annual vision check up with my optometrist last Tuesday and yesterday I went in to see how my new contacts were fitting. After the appointment was over, my doctor informed me that my prescription had been stable for some time, a little under two years, and that if I wanted to, we could forego contacts and instead schedule me for a pre-op appointment to get LASIK. I was initially caught off guard. When I went in that afternoon that was not a result I had anticipated. But this Friday I will be going back for my pre-op. Bottom line, in a few weeks more and a few grand less, I will be probably be free of these infernal contacts.

No more getting micro-particles that feel like shards of glass in my eye. No more falling asleep and waking up as if my eyes were layered in plastic wrap, which isn’t far from the truth. No more having to wear glasses at night to watch TV. It’s hard to imagine a world where I wake up and am just able to see without going through the daily ritual of sticking pieces of gel-like plastic in my eyes with saline solution. Like many of my vision impaired kindred, I accepted these inconveniences as simply the price I must pay for good vision, but finally that dream is almost within reach, almost reality. I find my spirits high just contemplating it, playing with the possibility of unassisted vision. Ah, technology truly is a wonderous thing at times.

:: posted by Z [11:18 AM] ::

:: Monday, November 03, 2003 ::
My SCUBA Weekend…
I hope everyone had a great and safe Halloween weekend. As for me, I spent the majority of my waking weekend hours beneath the waves, leaving all the mundane worries and concerns of the surface world behind as I descend into the depths and concentrated on more important matters, like breathing. First on Saturday at La Jolla Shores, I had my very first dive into the big wide Pacific which was quite cold, much to my dismay. The day was spent primarily testing and refining the skills we had learned in the previous two pool dives, preparing us for the real dives we’d be taking on the following morning. After waking up extremely early and a half day in the ocean, I was thoroughly exhausted. I drove back home, showered and collapsed.

On Sunday, it was finally time for the real deal. We boarded our boat, the Blue Escape, docked at Mission Bay and set out on the 1 ½ hour trip to the Coronado Islands. Our first stop was Middle Ground Island. The site we were diving at was Three Finger Reef, one of two small reefs in the Coronados. This was what I considered my first real diving experience. Even from the surface, as I submerged my head beneath the water, breathing with my snorkel, I could clearly see the bottom, some 50 and some odd feet below me. The visibility, my instructor told me, was phenomenal. Brightly orange Garibaldis and schools of smaller shiny silver fish swam lazily beneath my blue and black split-fins. As we descended to the bottom, I noticed more and more detail of the coral masses below. Sea urchins dotted the irregularly shaped wall which sprawled out in all directions with no clear order to its construction and starfish of all shapes and sizes hung lazily from its sides. We swam through the crazy coral maze, hovering only inches away from its brittle and lichen ridden surface. That feeling of hanging, of weightlessness, there is nothing like it that I can compare it to above the water. As I kick, I am propelled forward easily, and it’s almost as if I’m flying as I glide between two large boulders. We had two other dives that day and though my body had completely lost its ability to retain heat by the end, it was definitely a great experience and one despite all the work and time conflicts it has caused me over the last two weeks, was entirely worthwhile.

:: posted by Z [12:13 PM] ::

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