A Glimpse Inside

an experiment in expression, slight vanity and extreme boredom...
:: the path before you :: home | magnify | express | opinion | imagery | digital | correspondence ::
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False Cache
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A Day in Da Life!
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:: What's New in the World ::

"I hate you."
-Event Staff

In The Off Hours
Books :: None currently...
TV :: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, The 4400, Entourage
Anime :: Naruto, Bleach, Gundam SEED Destiny, Sousei no Aquarion
Music :: DHT - Listen to Your Heart

happiness is...
• Annoying Event Staff
• No More Work
• Night Pictures
• Winning at Poker
unhappiness is...
• No income
• Expensive gear
• Integrating flash and DBs
• Driving long distances

:: Saturday, October 29, 2005 ::
This site will now be going inactive. Please go to my new website www.aglimpseoutside.com for posts as I travel the world and try not to get killed.

:: posted by Z [12:30 PM] ::

:: Friday, September 30, 2005 ::
New Website...

For those who still read this website and/or care, my new site is up at www.aglimpseoutside.com. It's still being worked on, so be patient.

:: posted by Z [7:11 PM] ::

:: Friday, August 26, 2005 ::
The End, Sort of...
Well today was officially my last day of work. I strolled in at 9:50; ten minutes before my 10AM hand off meeting. Might as well start my last day like I started every other day right? Besides, it was more a formality than anything else. I met briefly with my team, showed my lead my programs, the end result of all my "hard" work over the last month, and continued the process I began at the beginning of the week. Namely, packing up my cubicle which had eight years of accumulated junk tucked away in every corner of it, and wiping my computer clean of any trace that I was ever there. This included, though was no way limited to, my mp3s, my movies, my anime episodes, my documents, my links, my caches and all programs of questionable origin or use.

My final act was of course uninstalling AIM, the program that made the last eight years of my employment not only barable but most of the time, down right entertaining. With that in mind, I'd like to take the time to briefly thank the people who regularly kept me unproductive over my illustrious chatting career. Here they are in semi-chronological, though in actually no particular, order:

Preeti, John, Toan, Winny, Lon, Jene, Sherri, Vicky, Gordon, Jewels, Chris, Courtney, Si, Jann, Win, Mitch, Jerry, Wookie, Tony, Nela, Sam, Mat, Carrie, Jiyon, Event Staff, and Laura.

Thanks for all the memorable convos and shared laughs. Though I don't converse with everyone afore mentioned as much as I once did, I just wanted to say that you all really did make a difference, even Event Staff.

Next, I just wanted to give everyone an introduction to my cubicle-mate for last four and some odd years. This is Bob.

Since November 1999, Bob has sat above my monitor at work and faithfully and tirelessly watched over things while I was away. This is my first picture of Bob because, well they don't allow cameras at my work. Industrial espinoage and what not. Anwyay, despite Chris' best attempts to contrary, Bob has survived. And Bob, is coming with me on my trip. I'm gonna mount the little guy to my backpack and see if he can survive a world wide exursion. Weird? Maybe, but I've never been much for normal.

Moving on, I've been part conditioning and part trying out and breaking in gear for the last week or so. Which means I've been doing a lot of hiking lately. The other day, Chris and I did my first full night hike up to the top of Iron Mountain in Poway. The heat has been so ungodly awful lately, that it was the only viable option. Once we made it to the peak, we set up Chris' tripod and proceeded to take some pretty sick night pics of the surrounded city scape.

This one is a business park in Scripps Ranch and my personal favorite of the night:

This one is of Poway:

and this one is of the 15 Freeway:

Not bad if I do say so myself. Chris also tried to cook us up some apple cobbler with his camping stove, but it ended up burning. Still, all in all, it was a good time. Anyway, out.

:: posted by Z [4:26 PM] ::

:: Friday, July 01, 2005 ::
An Update, Finally...
So what does a person who's about to quit his job, leave everything he's ever known, and strike out into the world with a bag on his back and no definite timeline or destination worry about? Ironically enough, the future, or more specifically what will happen after this one part crazy, one part liberating experience comes to an end some two years down the line. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to set any specific ideas about what comes after because a lot can change in two years, externally and more realistically internally. What will I want? What will I expect? Who will I even be? By the time I return, I'll be 29; well past the age where I can put off serious considerations about my future for much longer.

A builder by nature, I know that any great construction begins with a sound foundation. In life, such a work requires above all two things: time and a plan. So that's what I did. I sat down, actually I laid down on my bed, with yellow pad in hand and wrote out a 2-3 year short term plan, and a 5-7 year long term plan. I don't quite understand the power of written goals, but there is definitely something to them. Afterwards, I felt more focused and more secure with my decision in leaving than ever before. I'm not saying the plans won't change, but just having them there, gave me a window into my possible future.

Next week, I will give notice. Two weeks after that, I will officially be unemployed or retired, depending on how you look at it. For the next two years after that, my life will be my own, perhaps for the first time ever. I admit, I approach next Thursday with some major trepidation. A paycheck is like heroin and over the last 8 years I've grown totally dependant on the feeling of security it afforded me. Trading in that security for the promise of the unknown, I'm not sure if I'm getting a bargain or if I'm being swindled. For this corporate wage slave, it might be one of the hardest things I'll ever have to do.

:: posted by Z [1:40 PM] ::

:: Wednesday, May 11, 2005 ::
The Irony of Life...
We’ve all done something incredibly stupid in a moment of utter obliviousness. While the consequences of such actions often vary in degrees of severity, their underlying cause is a simple lack of awareness. That’s how I found myself Monday morning entering the carpool lane while my car only had one occupant, namely myself. For those who don’t know, I usually carpool to work with my cousin, Mitch, but he had opted to take a holiday because Monday was his birthday. And the carpool lane on the I15 isn’t like those carpool lanes in LA that are delimitated by mere double yellow line; I had huge concrete dividers blocking me in.

My heart rate spiked suddenly as I contemplating paying the $274 fine for violating the HOV lane. That’s almost $300 I didn’t really feel like paying for my own stupidity. Now in most cases, I would have just pulled out my FastTrak pass and paid the 50 cents toll that allows single drivers the privilege to drive in the carpool lanes, but I had recently removed it from my car. I mean I carpool everyday, why would I need it right? *sigh* Sometimes the irony of my life is so depressing.

So for the whole 10 minutes or so it takes to exit the carpool lane, I’m hyper-aware and scanning the horizon constantly for black and whites. I felt like a shoplifter who had just slipped something into his pocket and now only has to make it out of the store. Then, just as I was about to exit, I notice it. A California Highway Patrol car parked on the far right lane with its flashers on. Great, I think. It’s busy. I can just cruise by and it won’t notice me. But as I approach closer, the flashers stop and the turn signal starts. My heart sank. Nothing to do now but chance it, I tell myself. So with that resolve, I exited the carpool lane, my eyes glued to my rearview to see if the sadly all too familiar red and blue lights start wailing. But there’s nothing. I quickly move over a few lanes and arrive at work without incident. Once there I realized that I had in fact put my FastTrak pass back in the car. It was simply buried in the armrest compartment. See what I mean? Irony.

:: posted by Z [10:33 AM] ::

:: Thursday, May 05, 2005 ::
Law of Inertia...
I should have perhaps posted this on Monday when the weekend was still fresh in mind, but between work, the gym, my new Guild Wars addiction, reading, anime, switching banks, and learning Japanese (or relearning as it were), I sometimes find the motivation to update this site lacking. Event Staff just asked me the other day how it is I have time to do all the extra curricular activities I seem to do, and the question actually gave me pause. That's not something a typical Event Staff question would do. Normally I'd just find a way to reverse it into a snide comment about him, wait for his predictable "I hate you" reply, and call it a day. But after a brief moment, I replied half jokingly that it was because I didn't have a girlfriend. He then stated that he also did not possess a significant other either, and so that couldn’t be the only thing. And after some more pondering, I replied that I only work 7 hours a day, 9 days every two weeks, watch TV shows without commercials (via BitTorrent), and do a lot of errands while at work. All that saved time begins to add up after a while I suppose.

But in all honesty, we all probably waste a horrendous amount of time each day. I mean who really needs sleep anyway, right? It’s a matter of priority and the dreaded yet decidedly common monster of procrastination. If something were really important to me, I know I’d be able to find the time to do it. The only question is what will have to be sacrificed. Often times, it is nothing other than our own complacency but for some reason, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m as guilty as it as the next person, complacency is a hard thing to let go. You know what they say about an object at rest. Damn you, Law of Inertia. And so the majority of us are willing to just let the seconds tick by as we ponder if we should do something, rather than simply doing it.

I, for one, broke my complacency this past weekend by breaking my no clubbing self-imposed hiatus and venturing out to downtown with Alberto to meet up with Lan, Julie and all the visiting Pharm Kids. It’s strange, the feeling of being uncomfortable in a once comfortable setting but that’s exactly how I felt, standing outside the gray stone walls of On Broadway; a fish out of water when all I use to do was swim. Was it so long ago that I waited impatiently for each Friday, when the phone would predictably start to ring with people as anxious as me to know what the plans were for that night and the upcoming weekend? It seems like yesterday but years have passed in those moments between. Fortunately that uncomfortable feeling would eventually pass; a few drinks and bass-thumping music saw to that. And in that interim I rediscovered what it was I found so addictive about that lifestyle. By happenstance, I also ran into Vu, Chester, Lanet and Steamin. Twee was present as well but I never quite managed to find her. At the end of the night, I had made a few new acquaintances, danced a lot of the night away, and the best part yet, remembered every detail. That’s a success in my book any day.

:: posted by Z [11:49 AM] ::

:: Wednesday, April 27, 2005 ::
Poetry Corner...
Just a poem I ran across I liked and thought I'd share. And no, this doesn't mean I've converted.

- Faith-is the Pierless Bridge -
Supporting what We see
Unto the Scene that We do not-
Too slender for the eye
It bears the Soul as bold
As it were rocked in Steel
With Arms of Steel at either side-
It joins-behind the Veil
To what, could We presume
The Bridge would cease to be
To Our far, vacillating Feet
A first Necessity.

Emily Dickinson

:: posted by Z [1:03 PM] ::

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