A Glimpse Inside

an experiment in expression, slight vanity and extreme boredom...
:: the path before you :: home | magnify | express | opinion | imagery | digital | correspondence ::
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See Ted
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Shards of a Dream
Da Kit'n Kroniklz
False Cache
Grendel Prime
In the Rabbit Hole
A Day in Da Life!
[::..democracy matters..::]
AirAmerica Radio
The New Republic
The Nation

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:: What's New in the World ::

"I hate you."
-Event Staff

In The Off Hours
Books :: None currently...
TV :: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, The 4400, Entourage
Anime :: Naruto, Bleach, Gundam SEED Destiny, Sousei no Aquarion
Music :: DHT - Listen to Your Heart

happiness is...
• Annoying Event Staff
• No More Work
• Night Pictures
• Winning at Poker
unhappiness is...
• No income
• Expensive gear
• Integrating flash and DBs
• Driving long distances

:: Wednesday, July 31, 2002 ::
Musical Infatuation of the Month...
This distinction goes to wild child Avril Lavigne who my friend Preeti called "so young to be so troubled." I think perhaps Preeti has forgotten what it was to be 17 years old. While I'm only slightly taken by her recently released and fairly popular single "Complicated," it was only after listening to the remainder of her album and discovering the song "Anything but Ordinary" that my infatuation began. The lyrics really struck a chord with me, especially the extended rhyme pattern in the third stanza. Anyway, if you haven't given her album a listen, it is definitely worth a few minutes. The songs "I'm With You" and "Naked" are also fairly good.

:: posted by Z [2:38 PM] ::

:: Sunday, July 28, 2002 ::
Fond Farewells...
Emily Dickinson once said, "Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell." Before yesterday, it was just another quote to me. But standing there in LAX, along with dozens of other groups all saying farewell to their respective loved ones going towards the rising sun, and seeing all the agony in heart wrenching clarity play across the faces of people I have grown to care about and strangers alike, I finally understood polarity of joy and pain she spoke about. There is no purer moment than of that final embrace, as we say goodbye and silently pray that it won't be the last time. In that instance, any and all the past conflicts are forgotten in a sincere rememberance of a memory, a memory of two people who now must part paths and go their seperate ways alone.

Unlike some of my other companions, I did not shed tears over the occassion. From my perspective, the parting was not entirely a sad event. To stand on the edge of the unknown and bravely strike out on their own, I am honestly envious. There is no greater journey than that of discovery. I think we would all benefit from spending a year living abroad. The experience is truly once in a lifetime. And as my illustrious friend Mat has continually pointed out, as we age, years pass ever quickly by. What is a year but one trip around the sun? I know that before we all know it, we will be standing in LAX embracing our friend and welcoming him back home. So best of luck and I'll see you soon Charlie.

:: posted by Z [11:14 AM] ::

:: Friday, July 26, 2002 ::
Tossing, Turning, and Books...
Insomnia, is there anything I hate more? It's right up there with bad drivers, fake people and child proof caps. Well after only three hours of sleep, I think anyone would feel like crap. With my eyes all puffy and with mad bags under my eyes, I dragged my sorry butt off to work. But how much can someone really program with a constant dull headache and nodding off every five minutes? By 2:30 I called it quits. Personally I think I performed quite admirably considering the circumstances. I should have gone straight home and gone to sleep but the bookstore was calling.

After reading six books in three weeks, I told myself I was gonna take a break from reading. Well I made it a whole four days. *shrug* I guess you just can't fight who you are. But I decided after fourteen or so fantasy books (the Riftwar Saga, the Empire series and the Sword of Truth series) I needed a break from the genre. So I picked up The Killer Angels (historical fiction), The Fountainhead (fiction), The Forever War (sci-fi), 1984 (fiction) and Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace (political essay) for a change of pace. With the four Tad Williams books, the entire Ender Saga, Tides of War and King Rat still on my reading queue, I think I'll be busy for quite sometime.

Well I better go pack. Against my better judgement and desire, I shall be spending the weekend in LA. The trials I endure all in the name of friendship. *sigh*

:: posted by Z [4:38 PM] ::

:: Wednesday, July 17, 2002 ::
Reunions and Requiems…
Throughout the course of college I’ve met a lot of people and I’ve become close to a good number of them. But often, as it occurs in college, they move away or simply go back to where they’re from. People graduate, they get jobs, they go home; it’s the way things are and I’ve never been one to not except the reality I’m confronted with. What strikes me as significant are the bonds I have to share with some of these individuals. It’s reached that point of self maintenance that requires neither proximity nor exposure to perpetuate itself. It simply is and exists as if it always was. And when I’m reunited with one of these people, whether by chance or by design, I often take this fact for granted. But regardless, I revel in the time of our reunion. While this is such a time, recent events have overshadowed what would otherwise be a happy time.

While I can sympathize and console, I have never had to personally deal with the tragedy of losing a close family member. At times I almost believe in that invulnerable yet transparent bubble that encapsulates my life and renders everyone within its perimeter sacrosanct and immortal. My family, while not exactly whole, is relatively intact. Those things I read about in the papers with calloused eyes are always things that happen to other people. But recently, those other people have been friends who are close to me. Slowly but surely my bubble is shrinking. And as I witness the byplay and the aftermath, I see something that astounds me. It is an inner strength and resilience which I’m afraid I might lack when confronted with similar adversity. I can only hope that such a time is still a ways off, but the realist in me pleads acceptance for the possibility less I find myself unprepared for such a blow when the hammer of our mortality falls. All my heart goes out to Josh and Vy for their losses which cannot be expressed in words.

“Those who will come after cannot settle the unrest of those who came before.”

:: posted by Z [8:45 PM] ::

Poetic Burp...
This is something I normally do in my head, but I figured since I'm putting random thoughts online now, one more thing thrown into the jumble would hardly be noticable. If you look to the left, you'll see I have Dictionary.com as one of my links. That's because I look up words A LOT. It's an occupational hazard from reading too much. Those damn fancy higher-educated authors use a lot of words whose definition I either don't know or am not entirely sure on. I think people have a habit of using words incorrectly or even ignorantly. So I do my best to know what the hell I'm talking about. Anyway, whenever I run across a word that I particularly like or just stands out for whatever reason, I normally throw it around in my head for a while and try to include it in some little piece of prose. I call them "poetic burps". I know, I'm weird like that, but it helps me ingrain the meaning. Anyway, the word I was thinking about yesterday was lucid. I thought I knew the meaning but when I looked it up to be sure, I was a fairly off the mark. I've included the definition so you can check if you really know it. This is my version of the word of the day.

:: Definition
lu·cid - adj.
1. Easily understood; intelligible.
2. Mentally sound; sane or rational.
3. Translucent or transparent.

:: Burp!
I ride the tides of lucid dreams
where things are not always as they seem
by force of will or any means
I rend reality at the seams

:: posted by Z [12:56 AM] ::

:: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 ::
Calling it a Day...
Well I spent a good part of my afternoon tweaking with this thing and it's safe to say I learned quite a bit, or rather relearned. I hope this is presentable enough for people. I'm not one of those fanatics who's going to totally revamp blogspot's template into something totally original. I would if I could, but honestly, I lack the talent and the patience. Anyway, its 5:30 which mean its time to go home.

:: posted by Z [5:39 PM] ::

You would think that someone that spends 8 hours a day in front of a computer and with a degree in Computer Engineering would know the basics of HTML. But the truth is it's been about 5 years since I've touched a website. So bare with me as I figure out how on Earth this whole things works. Hopefully the learning curve will be swift, but no promises. I am, of course, only human.

:: posted by Z [1:05 PM] ::

Greetings and Salutations...
Umm well hello, though no one is probably reading this heh. This illustrates the depths to which my employer does not keep me occupied. I found my way to blogspot from my friend FloorMat's AIM profile and figured, why not? I got plenty of random thoughts floating around up there. Better to digitize them than lose them to oblivion I suppose. It's probably also slight vanity that makes me believe that my own thoughts are so interesting that people might want know what I'm thinking. But anyway, the deed is done regardless. So stick around and read at your convenience. I'll try to put stuff up that might actually interest people. If not, the back or X key is only a mouse stroke away.

:: posted by Z [12:56 PM] ::

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